Dealing 23 Apr 06

My eyes burn with the fire in my heart, and with salt
Too long have I sidestepped the world and my emptiness
Taking on another person's life
Living in escapism and worlds not of my making
Each time it ends, my world collapses
A book, a film, an evening of fun
I open my eyes to see the ashes of a long cold fire
Rebuilding myself is slow, each time.

I will not be hasty *this* cold day
The darkness surrounds me now, but may not tomorrow
I must find myself again, somewhere in this shell
Gently uncurl my soul until it fits my body
I will not throw everything away
Friendship, memories, my own lifeforce
The tears that stain my clothing will not become blood
My empty home my solitary coffin.

(Note: I was low, but I wasn't quite as low as I sound here)