After singing

My heart overflowing with joy, happiness fills every bit of me
True happiness, not just a veneer
That hides a well beneath.
Wearing the world like a cloak
I move freely.
I slip through the cool air as if it were as thick as water
It slides over my skin and I drink it in.
The sun shines on my face, but there's a greater light within.

Remembering

How strange to remember the girl that was - the one who loved you
Full of fear
She clung to the scraps of you, even as they slipped through her fingers
Hastening the demise as if that were her will

Did she fear
That you'd go, or that you'd stay
That she wasn't enough for you, or you for her?
That things would change, or that they never would?

She is gone now, and I can't ask her.

Dealing 23 Apr 06

My eyes burn with the fire in my heart, and with salt
Too long have I sidestepped the world and my emptiness
Taking on another person's life
Living in escapism and worlds not of my making
Each time it ends, my world collapses
A book, a film, an evening of fun
I open my eyes to see the ashes of a long cold fire
Rebuilding myself is slow, each time.

I will not be hasty *this* cold day
The darkness surrounds me now, but may not tomorrow
I must find myself again, somewhere in this shell
Gently uncurl my soul until it fits my body
I will not throw everything away
Friendship, memories, my own lifeforce
The tears that stain my clothing will not become blood
My empty home my solitary coffin.

(Note: I was low, but I wasn't quite as low as I sound here)

Casuarina Sands 12 Feb 06

pale hands move beneath the surface
held by the softness of water, I push forward
my tiny ripples meet the larger ripples, baffling the blue sky below
warm, but flashes of cold about my knees
sand beneath my feet, spongy with ashes.

Obligatory first post

To get some writing practice in, I've decided to blog my feelings in poetry while I recover from a difficult breakup (probably easier than writing that sort of stuff straight...). Happy to receive kind comments on anything.